meowlimit | #10 where IS my mind tho lol... like where'd that fella go

long time no see. things have gotten worse, a lot worse, and then they got a little better, and currently i feel worse again. i don't know if i wanna rant about personal business TOO much on here, so i'll try my best to be positive anyway. i have a bedframe now! i can sleep without feeling like ass! my room is starting to look like an actual home and it's made sleeping a whole lot more comfortable and restful. i got some post-christmas gifts for my friends but I don't think i'll be able to actually give them until school starts again ... sigh. i at least got stuff for my family out on time, so that makes me happy.
...i can't help but still feel horrible. i hate that i feel this way. it feels selfish to feel anything at all.
school has me hanging by a thread. i'm still stressing about it, even on break. even when i finish projects, i still feel unsatisfied. i try and give my all to my friends who are struggling, but it feels useless when i can't even help myself. i try and i try and i try and i don't know what i'm doing but i have to look like i do